


Post-Kidnapping

by doc-isles (reinedelutin)



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 08:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinedelutin/pseuds/doc-isles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate S03E07 ending. Written as a roleplay between doc-isles and just-jane-rizzoli on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post-Kidnapping

Jane could still feel Dominick’s breath on her neck. She shuddered, feeling the fear and disgust wash over her again. Her wrists hurt, and she rubbed them gingerly, her gaze wandering around the hospital room she’d been sat in to wait until someone could come and bandage them for her, never fixing on one place for more than a second. In a way, Jane still felt like she was still trapped to that bed, ghost-handcuffs still cutting harshly into her skin. She glanced at the open doorway; Frankie said Maura would be coming soon. Leaning back in her chair, the brunette settled herself to waiting for the ME to appear. If there was any time she was desperate for her friend’s company, it would be now.

Maura was at the hospital as soon as she could, but the hospital was closer to where they found Jane, compared to the station where Maura was. She closed her car door and was up the walkway, trying to find her best friend to make sure she was okay. She got the room number from a nurse and stopped before reaching the door. She took a deep breath and wiped her tear streaked face. She was sure Jane would worry more about her than herself if she knew she was crying.  
She strode into the room and almost sagged in relief when she saw Jane sitting on the bed. She went up to her friend and pulled her into a hug, careful of her wrists. She hid her eyes in Jane’s hair and took a breath to calm the tears that wanted to break through. She pulled back and looked Jane over. She knew she couldn’t ask how Jane was, because she already knew how she’d answer, and she couldn’t ask if she was alright, because she knew Jane was NOT alright, and probably wouldn’t be alright for a while. So she did the next best thing she could do, and that was find out physically how Jane was.  
“You don’t have Cheiralgia Paresthetica, do you?” She reached for Jane’s hands and slowly played with the fingers to see the detective’s hands reactions, to see if the digits were in pain or were numb. She sat next to Jane and checked her hands, her fingers absentmindedly passing over the old scars on her palms. She looked up as her fingers intertwined with the brunette’s. “How does this feel? Do you feel pain or numbness in your hands?”

Jane allowed herself to be pulled into hug, and she relaxed slightly into her friend’s embrace. Hesitantly, she pulled her arms from her side, wrapping them around Maura to return the hug. She could feel the tears pricking the backs of her eyeballs, so she closed her eyes and pulled Maura closer to her in an attempt to stop herself from crying.  
She twisted around slightly to see Maura better, confusion etched on her face. She wanted to ask what she was talking about, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually voice the question. Instead, she left it be for now, and shook her head in response to her friend’s next two questions, squeezing the hand that held hers, hoping that that would be enough reassurance that she was okay.

Maura could tell that Jane didn’t need words, so she just pulled her back into a hug, holding her tightly and rubbing her back soothingly.  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out sooner. We could see you but…we couldn’t find you.” She choked on her words. She shut her eyes and tried to calm her breathing. “You’re going to be okay.” She said to reassure the both of them. “You’re going to be okay, I promise.” She sat quietly holding Jane, offering her support and safety, waiting to see what Jane needed.

Jane nodded. She didn’t blame Maura or Frost or anyone else, it was her fault for going into that van. Besides, she was only thankful that they found her so quickly. It could have ended much worse, anyway. She could have ended up like that other woman Dominick fell in love with. Jane didn’t want to know what had happened to her.  
She bit her lip, pulling back as tears started to leak from the corner of her eye. “I-I… I’m just…” She was scared, still. How do you deal with being abducted by some man who thought he was your wife? She covered her face with her hands, trying to brush away the tears streaming down her face.

Maura reached and held Jane’s face in her hands, wiping her tears away with her thumbs. “You’re just what, Jane?” She asked her softly. She swallowed hard past the spot that seemed to make it hard for her to breath at her friend’s current state. She let Jane cover her face and kept a hand on one of Jane’s, to let her know that she was there and wasn’t leaving.  
“Excuse me?” Maura turned her head and saw a nurse there. “We’re ready for the exam.” Maura didn’t move an inch. She turned to Jane and helped her wipe her eyes and then held her hands in her own. “Are you ready for this, Jane? I’ll be here with you, the whole time.” She squeezed Jane’s hands the littlest bit, completely aware of how she held the injured hands.

“I… It’s nothing,” Jane shook her head. Maura wouldn’t want to hear her spew embarrassing nonsense anyway. It’d just make things awkward.  
She sniffed quietly, wiping the last of the tears off her face and rubbing at her eyes to try and regain some kind of composure. She didn’t want more people than she had to seeing her cry. “Y-yeah,” she nodded curtly at the nurse, making to stand up from where she was sitting on the bed, unsure of what the woman was going to do to her. She couldn’t even bring herself to care anymore, either.

Maura’s brows tightened in concern, her head tilting slightly. “Of course it’s nothing, but I will not continue this line of conversation only because there is another person in this room.” She stated matter of factly, and then mentally cursed herself, because she knew it made Jane uncomfortable when she said things like that, but she reverted to her ‘geek speak’ when she was unable to emotionally take control.  
Maura sat right behind where Jane stood, letting her hand reach up and run through a few hanging strands of hair. She was careful not to let her fingers get caught in it and it was only because the nurses were tired of her interfering with their examinations in the past when it came to Jane, and she would offer her own intel and it irritated the others, so she stayed silent, trying not to think of what she would have witnessed had the detectives not gotten to Jane in time.

Jane stood still, unmoving unless the nurse asked her to. She let herself be prodded and poked and everything, holding her tongue for once during the exam. Usually, she was more squirmy than she was now, and she couldn’t help but think how the nurse must probably be thanking God for that. The last time she’d had to visit the hospital when she’d shot herself, she’d given hell to whichever nurse or doctor who was foolish enough to poke her with anything.  
When the nurse had finished, she thanked God herself and flopped back onto the bed next to Maura, examining the new bandages on her wrists. Though she couldn’t move her hands as freely as she could without them, her wrists didn’t hurt so much anymore. That was all she cared about.

Maura didn’t say anything at first when Jane flopped next to her. She reached out and traced the bandages as if it was an anchor to her. Jane is okay. She’s safe and alive and not near any psychopaths. This comforted her and she gave Jane a small smile.  
“You’re coming home with me tonight, okay? I don’t want to leave you alone.” She stood, regretfully letting go of the hands as she grabbed her purse, ready to sign Jane Rizzoli out. She had already talked to the group, on the way, and they already assured her that they made sure she was okay and would take turns watching her place that night if it made Jane feel safer, but she insisted that she would let them know if Jane needed them. She looked down at Jane and offered her arm. “I don’t want you to get comfortable right now, or you’ll never leave here.” She teased half-heartedly.

“O-Okay,” she agreed, nodding, returning the smile weakly. The thought of sleeping alone in her bedroom that night honestly made her feel sick to the stomach, knowing that someone could actually spy on her. And sleeping on the bed she was chained to… It spiked too many memories, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. She’d probably sleep on the couch for the next week or so, too.  
“It’s a hospital, Maura, I couldn’t get comfortable here if I tried,” she said, trying to joke back and failing miserably. Jane took the arm Maura offered her and stood up as well, linking them together by the elbow in a rare soft moment.

Maura smiled up at Jane and couldn’t stop the motion as she laid her head against Jane’s shoulder in what seemed like a natural motion. She led them out to the nurses desk and signed the paperwork to say she was taking ‘custody’ of Jane, even though they wanted to keep her overnight for observation, which she calmly explained she was perfectly able to do herself. She took Jane to her Prius and drove them back to her home, letting them in and immediately retrieving a large blanket to wrap Jane up in. She gave her a look when it appeared she’d object, and she pointed at the couch.  
“Would you like a beer?” She called from the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of red wine, pulling a beer from the shelf she always kept a twelve pack on just for Jane. At her assent, she opened it and took the beer and glass, heading to the couch. She assumed Jane wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet, and she expected her to go further into shock, which she already saw the signs of earlier. She curled up on the couch next to Jane, snuggling her legs under the blanket. She let a hand rub Jane’s arm comfortingly.  
“How are you feeling?” Her eyes were softer than her voice as she tried to catch her eye.

Jane watched Maura check her out of the hospital, filling out the paperwork and telling the lady behind the desk that she’d be able to look after Jane herself. She found herself nodding as her friend said it; she trusted Maura more than she trusted any of those doctors or nurses. She’d trust Maura with her life.  
When they got back to Maura’s place, Maura immediately found a large blanket which, when she’d try to find words to object, had gotten one of her ‘looks’. Jane took the blanket and went to sit on the couch where Maura had pointed, wrapping the blanket around herself, secretly thankful for it. “Yes please,” she nodded, surprised Maura kept beer in her kitchen.  
“Numb, I guess,” she shrugged, not knowing how else to voice it. The adrenaline rush had long since ended and her heart had stopped racing, leaving her feeling tired and achy everywhere. She was torn between shock and relief. At least she could find her voice, though, now. She caught Maura’s eye, forcing back tears which were threatening to fall again. “The worst part was the outfit,” she said weakly, trying to brush the entire thing off with a joke. She’d cried enough today. “Pink ruffles and kitten heels…”

Maura smiled, but was unable to just brush it off like Jane was trying to.  
“Jane, you don’t have to joke. I understand that it’s your automatic defense mechanism, but you know I’m here for you. You don’t have to be strong for me, I can be strong for you.” She put her glass on the table and covered Jane’s hand with her own. “You don’t have to pretend.” She swallowed and blinked furiously for a moment.  
“I know what he did was traumatic.” She couldn’t hold back her own tears, remembering watching Jane cry on the video feed. “I may not understand what you went through, but I know what he did to you, Jane.” She lowered her face to look down at Jane’s wrist. She ran her fingers over the wrist bandage, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“What if I want to?” she murmured, closing her eyes. This time, the tears didfall, but she choked them back before she could really start crying. She wouldn’t ever stop if she didn’t stop now. “I want to pretend I’m okay ‘cause then I’ll think that I really am.” She was ashamed to cry; she rarely ever did, and certainly wasn’t planning on doing so again.  
Seeing Maura cry, though, made the tears come back again. She couldn’t stand it when people cried, much less her best friend. “D-don’t c-cry…” Jane grasped Maura’s hand giving it a squeeze. “I’m fine, now, see? Nothing to cry about.”

“Jane, in order to go past it, you have to work to get through what happened.” She said. “You can’t pretend that you’re fine and just go on.” She knew Jane wouldn’t go to a psychiatrist, she hated them. She reached forward and wiped Jane’s tears gently, then pulled her hand back.  
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” Maura wrapped her arms around herself and looked the other way. “I don’t know what would happen if we couldn’t find you, and something happened to you. I don’t know what I’d do.” She couldn’t choke back the sob. She stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She wanted Jane to open up, not herself. “You have to talk about what happened to get better, and I’m better than a psychiatrist, right?” She asked quietly, looking up at Jane with her big eyes.

Jane looked at Maura, pausing for a moment and hiccuping. The other woman seemed intent on her talking about the entire thing… She just wanted to forget it ever happened and move on with her life. “I wish I could,” she said quietly, quoting what Maura had said to her when she was the one crying over Hope and Cailin days previous.  
She took a deep breath. “I’d end up like that other girl… Emily?” she bit her lip, wiping her eyes and trying to get a grip on herself. If she had to talk about it, fine, but with Maura and Maura only. She hoped her Ma didn’t choose now of all times to visit from the guesthouse. “There isn’t much to tell, Maura. I got kidnapped, he took me to this… place that looked almost exactly like my place, he changed my clothes…” she shuddered, thinking about how he’d seen her naked… “went all creepy, Frankie, Frost and Korsak got me out…” Jane had hated how vulnerable she must have looked when they did find her.

Maura winced at what she could tell were her own words and it made her realize she was doing the wrong thing. She wiped her eyes and looked over at Jane, listening to her. She folded her hands on her lap, unable to tear her eyes away from her friend’s broken expression.  
“Okay.” She said simply in return. If Jane wanted to talk more about it, she’d be there, but she wouldn’t push anymore tonight, unless she was ready to be pushed away. “I’m going to run you a bath.” She said, picking up her glass to take a healthy sip. “Unless you want a shower?” She put the glass back down and offered her hand to Jane to help her up. “I have a set of spare pajamas.”

Jane smiled faintly despite herself, almost laughing. Maura didn’t like people sleeping in their clothes, she’d forgotten. It was this kind of thing she wanted most, just the sense of normalcy. “Thank you,” for more than just the bath and the beer and the company. But she left that last bit unsaid. Maura would know. She took a drink from her beer, setting it down quickly, taking Maura’s hand and standing up.  
“What about you, though? Are you going to…” she felt bad, being a bother. She didn’t have to take Jane in and counsel her, as difficult as she was being.

“Of course.” Maura responded to what Jane really meant with a soft smile. She squeezed Jane’s hand softly. She could understand the need for normalcy at the moment.  
She shrugged halfheartedly, because doing this felt right. “Don’t worry about me. Let me take care of you, please?” She held Jane’s hand, which was probably more for her sake than Jane’s, and went to the bathroom to set up the bath. She left the room for only a minute to grab the pajamas and a fresh towel.  
She knew she had to leave the room to let Jane bathe, but she felt an irrational fear grip her at the thought of leaving the room and Jane not being there when she returned, of the fact that they found her being a dream and she was actually still gone. “Do, do you need company?” She hoped it didn’t sound weird once it was said, but she wouldn’t take it back.

Jane went to the bathroom with Maura, inwardly glad for the hand she was holding. She watched her set up the bath, leaving the room for a minute to get a towel and the pajamas.  
She turned, giving Maura a slightly odd look. Would it be weird if she said yes? They weren’t… She wasn’t… It wouldn’t make things awkward? “Yes,” she blurted out, before she could finish processing the thought. She blushed immediately once the words were out in the open. “I-I mean… If you wouldn’t mind? Please?”

Maura nodded, smiling, to ease the tension and went under her sink to pull a bottle of bubble bath out. She poured a little into the bath then put it back where it belonged. She sat on the toilet and covered her eyes to give Jane some privacy and to get into the bath. When she heard the small splash, she opened her eyes and glanced at the wall ahead of her.  
“I’m glad that you’re here.” She finally said to break the silence. Her smile widened a little. “If you’d like, tomorrow, perhaps we can burn the clothing and the shoes?” She thought it might help Jane with closure, and considering the history with the clothes, she had absolutely no qualms with burning fashion, which she normally would’ve fought against.

Jane stripped off, hanging her clothes on the hook on the wall, and stepping into the bath. The hot water burned at first, but she got used to it the longer she sat in the tub. “I’d like that,” she said, nodding and returning the smile slowly. She wouldn’t be sorry to see the clothes go, especially those kitten heels. Vomit. She wished burning could be the answer to all her problems.  
She sighed, closing her eyes and sinking herself lower into the bath so the water came up to her neck. “What do you think they’re going to do to Dominick?” she asked, suddenly, the question popping into her head.

Maura sat quietly after Jane’s question. She had to swallow to be able to speak again. The man had seemed nice in Angela’s cafe, but she knew just how easily men like him could infiltrate society and convince others nothing was off. It scared her.  
“Well, Dominick murdered the two Doctors, presumably so that they wouldn’t ruin your ‘marriage’,” She made air quotes. “So he’ll be tried for two counts of first degree murder, first degree kidnapping, and aggravated assault because of the drugs.” She went silent. “He would normally get two life sentences before what he did to you, so I suppose life? However, considering his mental state, I’m sure they’ll put him in a mental facility until the court sees him fit for trial.” She folded her hands on her crossed knees.

She glanced over at Jane. “Are you going to be able to testify?” She was more concerned about Jane than the trial. “I’m sure, if you’d rather, We can ask the DA to have a closed hearing, in front of the judge and jury without needing to have him in the same room.” She saw Jane’s eyes weren’t on her, so she stopped. “I’m sorry, I can change the subject if you’d like.” She wasn’t sure if it was bothering Jane that she had continued.

Jane listened to what Maura said, choosing her words carefully when she finally answered. “There’s testifying, too?” She was sure to keep her voice light and devoid of emotion, not meeting Maura’s eyes. “I… Yeah. Could we just…?” she shook her head, regretting asking the question.  
“So… um…” she struggled, trying to think of something to say. What else could she say? “How’re… you and Hope? Did you call her after that…” Jane didn’t want to say it. She’d never liked Maura’s adoptive mother very much, since she hardly spent time with her daughter, though that had been getting better when she’d last looked. Jane had been happy for her friend when she’d found her real mom, until Hope went around and completely rejected her (if that wasn’t rejecting, she didn’t know what was).

Maura was ready to respond, but then Jane’s question to move on made her pause. “Of course we can.” She looked down at her hands in her lap, letting them pull and twist a piece of toilet paper.  
Maura froze, shutting her eyes painfully. “If I talked to her, you would’ve been the first to know.” She whispered. She used the toilet paper in her hands to wipe the corner of her eye. She had been flat out rejected by her mother and half-sister Cailin just a week ago, and she could still feel the pang in her heart that she felt when Hope yelled at her and ran out. She had only wanted her mother happy, which was why she was planning to be in her life from a distance, but Cailin had found the truth and forced her to reveal her secret. “I will not be the one to call her. She made it pretty clear that she didn’t want me in her life. If her or Cailin call me, you know that I’ll do anything for just a chance.” She finally said.

“Oh Maura… I’m sorry…” she lifted a hand out of the water, intending to try and comfort her friend, but then drawing back when she realized Maura probably wouldn’t appreciate bubbles and water on whatever expensive and foreign brand of clothing she was wearing today. Every conversation seemed to be turning awkward now. She wanted to know more, but she wouldn’t push Maura like that. Maura hadn’t pushed her.  
Jane was worried about her, though. She didn’t want Maura to get hurt… she’d rather go through Hoyt and Dominick and every other perp she’d ever faced all again before that. Unsure what to say, she simply stared up at the ceiling, remaining quiet. If Maura wanted to continue, she would. Or she could change the subject. Jane would gladly listen to Google-talk if it would distract the both of them.

“It’s not your fault, you need not apologize.” Maura said. She had seen the hand reach towards her and was disappointed when it pulled back. Jane should know by now that clothes are easily washable and a little bubble are fine. She looked away and hugged her knees to her chest, her skirt shifting to accommodate. “Is it so bad that I just wanted to know my birth mother? I’m happy with Mother, I just wanted to know where I came from.” She whispered.  
“You know what? No. She doesn’t want to be a part of my life, then fine. I have Mother, and I have Angela. I don’t need Dr. Hope Martin.” She went through one of her ‘bipolar moments’ and was suddenly determined. “Not even as a friend.” She said firmly. “If she changes her mind, then I’m here, but I will not cry anymore over her.” She looked over at Jane, suddenly worried. “That’s the right attitude, right?”

Jane winced for her friend, wanting to give Maura a hug. “I did warn you that family sucked,” she said, helplessly. She’d give anything to not know where she was from, it would’ve saved her more than thirty years worth of embarrassment, but she could understand where Maura was coming from. If she had been adopted, she’d probably want to know too, though she’d probably regret it very much later. “Right,” she gave Maura an odd look, thrown off for a second by her sudden change in demeanor but deciding to just go along with it. “Right. You don’t need the fancy doctor-mom… You’ve got a fancy art-mom and an annoying Italian one too.” She gave Maura a small, appraising smile. “If that’s what helps you, it is.”

“You did.” She said sadly. “I should listen to you all the time. I will perhaps be happier.” She added glumly. “Your family is wonderful though. A tad bit embarrassing and dysfunctional, but loving and unjudging.”  
She was just glad that they had made her an honorary member of the family, she felt like she belonged somewhere now. Her life had been irrevocably changed when she met Jane, and she would have it no other way. Maura sighed and put her head in her hands, elbows on her knees, mentally and physically exhausted.  
“Jane, thank you for being my best friend. I don’t know if I would be half as happy as I am with you.”

Jane nodded, having to hide the amusement threatened to make itself known when Maura called her family ‘dysfunctional’ – it was more than that, with all the Lydia and Tommy business. If anyone else had said that, Jane would probably have bitten their heads off about it without a second thought. From Maura, though, she knew it wasn’t meant in an insulting way.  
She blinked at Maura for a second, startled by the sudden smooshyness, but she smiled genuinely, willing to go along with the smooshyness as terrible as she was with dealing with it. “You’re welcome?” It sounded more awkward when it came out of her mouth than it had in her head. “I’m… thanks for always taking care of me and being the best best friend to me, Maura. You don’t have to. You never had to,” she chewed on her bottom lip, nervously.

Maura chuckled a little, tilting her head in her arms to look at Jane. “I do have to though.” Her eyes drifted down to the side of the tub. “I’ve always had to. I just want you happy, no matter what, because of how happy you make me. You were and are my first best friend. I want to take care of you, because I want to see you out there stopping crime and laughing at the cafe with Frankie and Angela. What would the world be without Jane Rizzoli?” Her eyes met Jane’s, pausing before asking even quieter. “What would I be without you? An awkward non-social dungeon-dweller.” She quoted what they used to call her in the morgue before she knew Jane.  
She stood and turned her back to Jane under the ruse of grabbing the dry fluffy towel that was next to the pajamas. She had tears in her eyes at the thought of not having Jane in her life, and did not like that image one bit. She gripped the towel in her hands tightly and lowered her face. “I’m….going to go make the spare bed.” She said tightly, putting the towel on the toilet without meeting Jane’s eyes and fled down the hall. The bed was already freshly made, which she already knew, so she curled up on the bed against the headboard, hugging her knees to her chest and her face against them.

Jane met Maura’s eyes, filling with concern as she noticed the pause and the quieter tone Maura used. She chose her next words carefully. “Non-social, really? Even with you dragging me off to yoga and on all those dates?” Lightening the mood was the only thing she was ever good at. Or at least, she tried to be good at.  
“Oh… okay,” she sighed, dipping her head forward slightly to hide the expression of disappointment on her face. Was it something she said? She sat up as Maura left, spotting some soap. She grabbed it, and began cleaning herself with it, trying to think and reflect on what she’d said that made Maura upset. God, why did these kind of things always happen to her? She got that she wasn’t good at being sensitive and all, but she liked to think she was better at it with Maura.  
When she was finished, she washed herself off, climbing out of the bathtub and wrapping the towel Maura had left on the toilet seat around herself. She drained the water, turning around to dry herself off then pull the pajamas on. Surprisingly, they fit well. Jane left the bathroom, walking out into the corridor and turning left to find the guest room, where she assumed she’d be sleeping in tonight. As the thought crossed her mind, she felt slightly saddened by it, which confused her. She always slept alone, but tonight…  
When she opened the door, her eyes almost bugged out of her head. She crossed the room to the bed, pulling Maura into a tight hug.

Maura smiled slightly. She only went to a yoga class to share that with Jane. She used to have a personal trainer, but she didn’t share that with her friend. “I never went to Yoga with anyone, and my dates usually turned out bad. You’ve seen how it was with Garrett and Ian. I didn’t do anything socially except what I was expected.” She shrugged. Both relationships had failed.  
Maura had lost track of time and suddenly found herself encased in arms. She looked up, startled, and found herself in Jane’s arms. She snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around Jane and pressing her face to the taller woman’s shoulder. She cried and was careful not to hug her too tight because she knew Jane was sore from being stretched out. She couldn’t get any words out to explain what was wrong.

“Maura… Maura… Shh, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay…” The words fell out of her mouth of their own accord; she didn’t know what was going to be ‘okay’. Was there even something wrong? She didn’t even know what Maura was crying about. But, now was not the time to start questioning that. Now was the time to make her feel better before Jane started crying herself. She rubbed her friend’s back like her Ma sometimes did when she was crying, hoping that would be soothing in the same way it had been for her.  
Jane didn’t dare ask what she was crying about, thinking that would push her even more emotionally, but the question nagged at her… Chewing away from the inside… Still, she bit her lower lip and held her tongue. Maura’s emotional state was more important than silly curiosity.

“My amygdala and my lacrimal gland have a connection that i can’t really control.” She sniffed against her shoulder. She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and took a breath. She shifted so that she was on her side of the bed. She peered at Jane hesitantly. “Are you okay? I’m probably making things worse for you.” She looked down, ashamed.  
“I just can’t lose you, and the mere thought makes me cry, that I was close to…. no, not close.” And she was making things worse again. “I mean that there was a probability, but we have the best people on our team so there is absolutely no chance that we would have lost you.” She said more for Jane’s benefit.

“No, shh, you don’t have to be sorry. Why’re you sorry?” Jane reached out to gently wipe the tears off Maura’s face with her thumbs like Maura had done for her only a couple of hours ago. She mourned the loss of the warm feeling of having her arms wrapped around her best friend, though her face remained stoic. “I’m fine. It’s fine,” she shook her head. She was used to locking back her emotions, being the only female cop on the Homicide unit. When people were looking for the slightest falter to antagonize you with, you learn to be more cautious about what you let show.  
“You’re not gonna lose me, Maura, not in a million years. You think you can get rid of me that easily?” She gave a wry smile. “It’s going to take a lot more than a psycho baker to take me out.” She was lying between her teeth, but that wouldn’t matter if it made Maura feel better. Jane was well aware of her own vulnerability - she’d learned that lesson the hard way. Even so, she could at least say that she was tough enough to get by most things.

“I’m-I’m sorry that I’m not as strong as you.” She leaned her cheek against Jane’s hand without thinking, closing her eyes. “You are fine?” She asked skeptically, but sighed and just accepted it. She laid out on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Maura was comforted by Jane’s reassuring words, a small smile playing on her lips. When they slept on the bed, there were usually a few inches between them. Maura ignored that and curled up on Jane’s side, laying her head on her shoulder.  
“What do you want to do tomorrow? Lieutenant Cavanaugh stated you have some time off. I thought we could do something.” She asked almost brightly. She was fine with doing anything that Jane wanted to do, except go back to work. She really hoped Jane wouldn’t fuss about going back to work. “Frost and Korsak are going to deal with the paperwork, and do not want you coming in, so please don’t try to.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jane repeated, lying down as well and hugging Maura closer to her. She felt the tension seep out as her muscles relaxed in the lying position, fatigue finally catching up to her. She sighed. “I’ve been ‘fine’ since I’ve started the job, Maur, don’t worry about me.” It took several seconds for the question to reach through the hazy fog that had settled over her mind. Thoughts of ‘tomorrow’ hadn’t exactly been high on her worry list. Five hours ago, she wasn’t even sure if there was going to be a tomorrow. “Aw geez, Maura… That makes me feel really appreciated…” she yawned, stretching out and widening her eyes in an effort to stay awake. “Are you taking the day off too, then? I’d hate to make you miss a day in the morgue.” 

“Of course I’ll worry about you.” She replied drowsily. “I always will.” She curled closer in Jane’s arms, more comfortable than ever. “Of course you’re appreciated. Everyone loves you and worries about you.” her hand rested in the middle of Jane’s chest, and she tucked her head under the taller woman’s chin. “Of course I am. You’re more important. I told them that if I didnt take the day off, you’d be in bright and not chipper in the morning. Needless to say, Pike will be taking over until I am back.” She yawned, eyes shutting tightly. She exhaled slowly.

Jane laughed. Not everyone, though her Mother seemed to try her best every single day to make up for that. “I’m just another cop. No more valuable than anyone else.” Though the sentiment was heartwarming, and she gave smile. “Poor Frost and Korsak,” she murmured in agreement. The only good thing about not being able to go to work tomorrow wouldn’t have to put up with Pike being the usual arrogant jackass that he was. And she was glad Maura would be staying with her, too. Jane wanted her no where near Pike. But then, if Maura wasn’t going to stay with her, then Pike wouldn’t have to cover for her at all. Thinking about it made her sleepy and she copied Maura, seeing her yawn and close her eyes.


End file.
